kneeling down beside my bed and folding my hands and closing my eyes: dear god please let me have some gay sex soon and also maybe let me win the lottery so i never have to get a job again. okay goodbye i mean amen

which fictional death has affected you the most emotionally? like had you straight up crying your eyes out or similar responses

I hate the "Oh ur posting without tags? how is anyone supposed to find ur post🥺" warning shit tumblr does now. the hand of god will deliver me unto others

i'd love you if and only if you were a worm. bitch

forgot about my icon before making this post

make that pussy poppenheimer

Lmao wat

make that pussy poppenheimer

ALT

please no one disturb me I am doing important research on wikipedia dot com today

ALT

I see I've released a new word into the tumblr ecosystem, glad we're all being totally normal about it <3

and I am sooo sorry, it is wikipedia dot org actually

official boob post

i get that i can expect to see the “unreality” tag a lot on my stuff. i post a lot of weird eldritch shit and even when i post something that isn’t it’s still deeply steeped in my nonsense.

but i’m fucking losing my mind at how even my posts that are correct and true will be tagged that. fatal incuriosity is inescapable when you’re me.

my “a coin is a three sided object. never forget that.” post earned an unreality tag at one point

i’m sorry but maybe you’re not the best watchdog for what’s real and what isn’t, champ. i think being the arbiter of reality requires at least a basic understanding of 3d space.

tumblr users experiencing “unreality”

i once posted the south up map in here and someone tagged it unreality… buddy that’s the earth……..

mosquitos the instant spring starts:

tf2 heritage post

😭😭😭😭

dr heinz doofenshmirtz one of the characters of all time. he's a mad scientist. he got his degree on the internet but everything he invents works. he puts on big musical numbers and his backup dancers are canonically unionized. he's a dorky dad. he has trauma. he changed his name to professor time for branding purposes. he's an immigrant. he's an ocelot. he's even divorced

staff: *unrolls yet another unwanted, unneeded, pointless update to a feature that did not require it*

the people at xkit immediately: 

If you'd like a reference for what Tumblr looked like when I joined it and then you might understand why people are saying it's copying Twitter

Tumblr's Favorite Pokémon Round 7 Matchup 8

MEW SWEEP MEW SWEEP FUCKERS

Originally posted by dr-miaou

Mew is the original legend! The very first myth of the Pokémon universe! The first ever Pokémon cryptid! Mew inspired an entire generation of gamers to hack their games just to get to a truck that's normally inaccessible because it was rumored that you could find Mew there! And also look at how cute it is!! Zorua is cute but Mew is cuter and has more history AND is the genetic ancestor of all Pokémon! Zorua wouldn't exist without Mew! Mew can become Zorua, if you want it to!

Vote Mew!!!